


Depressed, Drunk, and Decorated

by scarromanoff



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: After S3 ending, She's drunk, and she needs to decorate for christmas, depression and alcohol are her only friends at this point, it's Christmas, she's mourning, wynonna is depressed, wynonna just needs to grieve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 19:05:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17147381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarromanoff/pseuds/scarromanoff
Summary: It's Christmas in Purgatory, but Wynonna's alone after the fight. She still hasn't processed the fact that she lost Waverly, and tbh, she really doesn't want to. Tears and grief really aren't her thing. But it's Christmas, and Waverly loves Christmas, so Wynonna's going to do what she does best. She's going to drink away her emotions and face this holiday head on....with a little bit of grief at the end.





	Depressed, Drunk, and Decorated

**Author's Note:**

> This is depressing af, but tbh, so am I. I love Wynonna, and am overly obsessed with her character, so yeah. Enjoy this depressing fic!

Wynonna took another gulp of the drink in her hand and set the glass back down onto the wood of the bar, grimacing at the way the alcohol burned on the way down.  


Drinking. It had always been her philosophy in life whenever there was problem, but this was one of the few times when she would truly allow herself to wallow in a pit of despair at the same time. It was Christmas. Well, almost. There was still a week before the day, but for the first time in her life, Wynonna wasn't feeling the holiday spirit. It was the first Christmas she would have to spend well and truly alone, and not like the alone from when she was in Greece. She knew she could come home whenever she wanted to then. No, this was different. There was nobody to go home to. Everyone was gone, even her sister. Even Waverly.  


It had been a few months since the fight, since Waverly had been taken. Since Doc went after her. She hadn't really been able to process it, had no one to be with anymore. Even Nicole had thrown herself into her work to ‘keep this from happening to anybody else’. Wynonna knew it was really to keep from thinking about it. About Waverly. She knew because it's what she was doing too. In the months since the fight, she'd been working harder than ever, barely giving herself a break. Even the revenants seemed to notice the change and were trying their best to lay low. But as Christmas came closer, she just felt empty, more so than earlier. Now she was camped out at Shorty's rather than going back to the homestead because she knew it would just feel like her.  


Taking one last gulp, Wynonna stood, throwing some cash onto the bar and walking out to her truck. She climbed in to the driver's seat and started up the engine. It wasn't smart, she knew that, but everyone in the town knew that at this point Wynonna Earp was just a highly functioning alcoholic, one who couldn't hide from her home forever.  


The homestead was quiet. There was no laughter or music playing in the background, no cookies baking, no paper ornaments being cut. No, her home was empty and quiet, because what made it home wasn't there anymore.  


Wynonna tossed her keys into the bowl that had been set next to the door ages ago and, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen, descended the stairs to the basement. It was full of boxes, all crammed with junk, but since nothing had been set up for the season and there was only a week left, Wynonna felt she needed to at least decorate. It was what Waverly would have done, what she would have wanted, and Wynonna was never one to deny her sister anything. Plus, it would help her feel that Waverly was still here, and she would do anything for that.  


She reached for the closed box labeled ‘Christ-birth’ - she had labeled them as a joke when she was fifteen and they had never changed it- and taking a swig from the bottle, opened it up. It had been barely a year, but everything still managed to be ridiculously dusty, causing Wynonna to cough more than she thought possible; she felt like her lungs were coated with the stuff. She rummaged through, checking the numerous boxes of glass ornaments, and hefted the thing up, carrying it upstairs to the living room where a tree had been set up the day before. It was as big as ever because when she went to pick one up, she knew it was the one that would have Waverly jumping up down, begging her to get.  


She continued the process, eventually just foregoing the open-and-rummage routine and carrying up every box that bore ‘Christ-birth’ on it.  


Wynonna took another few swigs from the bottle as she stared down the tree. If she was going to do this, she thought to herself, then she might as well do it right. And with that she headed off to her room in order to pull on the Christmas onesie that her family had gotten her right before she left as a teenager. She had worn it every year since, even in the heat of Greece, though she would be hard-pressed to ever tell them that. Now she wished she had told them, Waverly at least. She wished she had told her a lot of things.  


Taking a running start, Wynonna slid back out into the living room, hood up and reached for a string of multi-colored lights. She grinned at the tree, holding up the lights in the most menacing way possible.  


“You are going to be more than decorated when I'm done with you.”  


It took several hours and a bottle or two of whiskey, but that tree was decorated gosh darn it. All it needed was a topper, and if Wynonna was being honest with herself, that was the one thing she was truly dreading. She could deal with the paper ornaments. Hell she could even deal with the homemade garland. But that damn angel. Wynonna wasn't sure if she could hold it together when she saw that damn angel.  


“Why’s it even need a topper? I think it looks good enough.” And with that, she turned and marched off to the kitchen. Wynonna was fresh out of whiskey and boy did she need a drink.  


She poured herself a drink and sat at the kitchen table, leaning back and glancing around the room, her eyes falling on a picture of the two sisters from a few months before everything went to hell. It had been taken by Robin when he was going through a photography phase and showed the two smiling at each other in front of the fire at one of the many house parties Waverly had insisted upon having when they were all still together. They looked like they were the only two people in the world and Wynonna felt tears coming at the sight. She shook her head, taking in a few quick breaths and a swallow or two of liquor, and forced back her emotions. She hadn’t cried for months, boxing up and ignoring her emotions instead since the fight, and she wasn’t about to start now. No. Emotions were not what Wynonna Earp needed right now.  


A couple of hours and a few drinks later, Wynonna found herself back in the living room, staring down the last few boxes of holiday cheer. She took a few breaths, cracking her knuckles as she psyched herself up. She’d faced demons and revenants before, what were a bit of holiday memories, right? She just had to face those boxes like they were demons. She took one last breath; this was nothing. She opened the first box.  


Most of them were fine, the occasional christmas photo, but nothing too bad. Everything was the same as when she was younger, and before she knew it, Wynonna only had one box left. She opened it before it hit her that one very special thing would be in it.  


Her breath caught in her throat. There it sat, nestled in tissue paper on the top of a bunch of greenery for the railings. A white, makeshift angel. It looked so perfectly peaceful, so caringly placed, that Wynonna didn’t want to touch it. It was everything she didn’t want to remember, every moment with her sister piled into one tiny thing. She could feel the tears coming.  


Ever so carefully, Wynonna lifted the little thing from it’s homemade bed. Sinking to her knees against the couch, she cradled it close, letting the tears that had threatened to fall for so long finally come as she remembered every single thing that she had been pushing away. Wynonna had lost so much the day of the fight, and even before it, and for the first time, she was really processing it. No longer was she hiding behind her tough facade and alcohol. She didn’t have a sister to hold anymore; she had failed to protect her, and for the first time, she was acknowledging the truth of that. And so Wynonna sat against the old, beat up couch, crying for her sister and every other person she hadn’t been able to protect, for everything she had lost.  


It was Christmas, and for the first time in her life, Wynonna was truly alone with no one to turn to, and it occurred to her that it was honestly the worst feeling. Because without her sister, without Waverly, Wynonna Earp felt like nothing. So she promised herself, for what felt like the millionth time, that she would get Waverly back. She would find a way into that stupid garden, and she would fight off anything that tried to stop her. Because Waverly was worth it, worth every bit of pain. Wynonna would spend every waking minute for the rest of her life chasing after Waverly if she had to, just so long as she got her back.  


She let the tears fall, and she held the last bit of her sister she had left, and she promised herself that she would find her. For the first time in a long time, Wynonna Earp felt she had a purpose again. It was only fitting that it had to be at the stupid, happiest time of the year.  


So when the tears stopped, Wynonna stood and placed her angel on top of the tree, took a step back, and turned, heading for the door. Grabbing her keys, she took one last look and left. After all, she had made a promise, and she had work to do.  



End file.
